Pick Your Poison Read online

the beach and being thankful we were alive had seemed like a good idea.

  “Besides, where are you going?” he continued. “Your world is gone, whatever is left of humanity is scattered to the wind, and those who didn’t cough and choke and puke themselves to death are hiding in holes, terrified the Grim Reaper will get them on the rebound. Your group is the only living persons with in a hundred miles of this place, if there were any more, we would have smelt them by now. It’s over: McDonald’s, Internet Porn and Wal-Mart. Is it really worth living in such an empty world? I bet it’s what your friends upstairs think in their heart of hearts.”

  “We’ll do what we have to and we’ll always have the sun.”

  “Don’t have a clue, do you?” the father continued. “What did you do before the flu came?”

  “I was a computer technician.”

  “Your usefulness ended the second the electricity went off. You have no purpose anymore.”

  “Except to be your dinner.”

  “Damn straight about that,” this came from one of the boys, both of whom still sported the modified suburban skater punk look they must have adopted while still alive. “Just let us in, you’re too damn good to get wasted on a pack of dogs.”

  “Shut up!” the mother commanded. “Your father is handling this and you will not speak.”

  “We are the ones with purpose now,” the father said, ignoring the outburst. “We have the strength and desire to live in this kind of world, while you are lost with no reason to go on. It is the inevitable conclusion you will come to, if not tonight, then one night very soon and we will have you then just as surely as we have you now. Why wait?”

  He was good, given time he might have convinced me, but not this night, or so I thought. “We can walk in the moon light; we can walk in the daylight. You can’t say that,” I answered. “And we can always say no when you knock at the door like I’m saying no tonight and every night.” With that I turned to leave.

  Then I heard it, an animal roar, deep and guttural, coming from somewhere close. It was not a lonely dog I had heard howling earlier, but something else. And it sounded big, like nothing you expected to hear in suburban North America.

  Stricken looks swept across the faces of the vampires as soon as this beast announced his presence.

  ‘We don’t have much time,” the mother hissed and was immediately silenced by the father.

  “Sounds like something escaped from the zoo, friend of yours?” I said.

  “Your ignorance is all too human,” the father answered. “You just assume we are the only things that come out in the night, but we have many so-called brothers in the darkness that hid in plain sight of civilization, which walked with man during the day, but feasted on him like a true predator when the sun went down.”

  The roar was heard again, now much closer, and in a flash I made the connection. “Werewolf,” I said almost inaudibly, as though talking only to myself. The kids laughed at this.

  “That’s right you stupid man,” the wife answered. “And they won’t be held back by ancient spells that keep us from crossing a threshold. They want your flesh as bad as we desire your blood; there is no wall thick enough you could hide behind that their claws cannot tear right through. Because of the flu, they must be as hungry as we are.”

  It was almost enough to make me laugh, survive the end of mankind, only to have to choose between being drained by vampires or eaten by werewolves. I wasn’t about to let either one happen.

  “Two pints of blood a night,” I said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just this, Mr. Lawyer of the night: we’ll guarantee your family two pints of blood a night if you can guarantee our safety.”

  “Your safety?” For a smart guy, he just didn’t seem to grasp the situation.

  “It’s like you said, we’re the only humans for miles around and if we get gobbled up by werewolves, you have to make do with bovine or vermin, so tell me how great their flavor is compared to us good old Homo Sapiens.”

  “And we are supposed to fight this werewolf to protect you?” the mother said. “I do not think so.”

  “Times have changed and there are no more free drinks. It’s strictly rationing from here on out, but I can guarantee you at least a taste of A Positive and on a regular basis. It’s that or nothing but cow and rat for a very long time. Since you are all fellow creatures of the night, you shouldn’t have trouble coming up with a way to put a werewolf down. I’d start with cutting his head off. Go find a Lowe’s, get a big ax or better yet, a chain saw.”

  “You haven’t mentioned the rest of your group?” the mother asked. “They may not be so agreeable.”

  “They’ll go along, I guarantee it,” I’d convince them, that I was sure of. Just remind them of what they’d seen when Wendy was devoured the other night. Add that to watching civilization evaporate around them and it was easy to understand why they were huddled together in a bedroom three stories above.

  “Your proposal is acceptable,” the father said. “I agree to your terms.”

  “I wanted a real meal,” the little girl whined. The boys didn’t look very happy either and were about to say something when a sharp glance from the mother stopped them.

  “Not just your word, but the whole family,” I wanted no loopholes. The roar came again, very close now.

  “There it is,” one of the boys said, pointing down the dark empty street running in front of the Atlantic Blue. As far as the eye could see, it was block after block of motels and hotels, black and empty, awaiting tourists who, through all the endless summers to come, would never arrive. But standing in front of a Best Western, three intersections away was the source of the howling. In the moonlight it appeared at least seven feet tall, covered head to toe in dark fur, with shoulders twice as wide as its waist.

  “What I say goes for one and all,” the father said. “We’ll save you and your friends from the werewolf and keep you from being eaten, but in return, you will provide us with two pints of your blood every night. Are those terms agreeable to you?”

  It might not seem right to bind the others to such to such an evil bargain, but sometimes you had to pick your poison. “Agreed by one and all,” I said.

  “Then step outside and shake hands on it,” the father said. “Or would you rather ask us in.” The werewolf strode to the middle of the street and appeared to sniff at the air.

  It was the moment of truth and I hadn’t survived the worst of SA6 just to end up coming out in the stool of some shape shifter. But there was no way I was going to let any of them on the inside, deal or no deal. So with my heart pounding, I stepped through the door and took the vampire’s outstretched hand.

  They were as good as their word; the father took my advice about finding a chain saw and it took them the rest of the night, but in the end the werewolf went down.

  The End